yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
