I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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