If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
