I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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