I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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