why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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