so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize