Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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