I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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