I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
50% drunk capacity currently
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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