You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
