I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This is my gift to your gina
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
