She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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