He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The air taste purple.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
