I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
