Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
