Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You took a bar mat shot.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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