Cold hands, warm shart.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
