Say something about gay babies.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
