um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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