you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
