He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
