Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
