didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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