We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
