I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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