well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Send help, water and tortillas.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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