oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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