This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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