Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
