chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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