I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
