dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
