OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
