At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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