respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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