somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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