so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
