I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
