so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
