She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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