He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
