Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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