So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
