I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
