ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
