When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
