If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
