what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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