Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
